Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize