Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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