At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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