lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
