Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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