STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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