Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
