So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Randomize
