Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
