About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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