is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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