I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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