8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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