your parents love me but you hate me
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize