It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
