Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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