my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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