I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
