I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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