Sponge bath it is.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
