Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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