Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
