So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
