somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You were trust falling into bushes
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