Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
