question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
