He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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