I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
