Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
