I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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