Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
