with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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