She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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