I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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