i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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