Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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