I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
