I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
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Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Then you guys just all showered together...?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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