I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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