Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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