Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
