HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
