okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
