i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize