Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize