hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize