i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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