Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
