Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
