I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
