Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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