There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
