Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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