return my video game
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
