Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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