What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
