She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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