No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
