Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
