i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
